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Self-pity  

Ari_fairy

12/24/2011 9:00 pm
 Tonight I am cold and empty and I don't know myself. I rarely feel loneliness rage within me and yet...I am so lonely and lost. I wonder how so many others spend this night...alone, without feeling desolate. So little to say for the depth of what I feel is wrapped deep inside.

Have you ever sat in a room full of people...and known you did not belong...and that in many ways, you did not matter, even though they are family? And I wonder what I've done wrong and why I can't see it.

Could I have done more? Should I have? Am I supposed to submerge all that I am...and if I choose not to, is this what comes? This emptiness. This pain...this sense of not being?

Sometimes the not being would be a blessing.

And so I cry...and curl up into a ball...and wonder what is broken inside me...and how I repair it.
Feel the passion, walk in peace, live in love....Ari
Mistytraveller
Ask me for a photo
16562 posts 

12/25/2011 3:00 am

 ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Arre)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Wishing you happiness

Misty

Ari_fairy
20975 posts 

12/25/2011 9:33 am
    Quoting Mistytraveller:
    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Arre)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
(((((((Misty))))))

I hope you know how much I treasure our friendship. I didn't mean to feel sorry for myself last night, it's just been an odd holiday and...it doesn't matter. I'll get over myself.

How are you and Riny enjoying your Christmas? I'm so glad you two could be together...Merry Christmas to both of you...and big hugs from me.
Feel the passion, walk in peace, live in love....Ari

explourer
7614 posts 

12/26/2011 1:31 am

 It's the time of year...it does that to a lot of peoples...dry your eyes and take comfort that you are surrounded yet still with family members...Tomorrow is another day and things will do seems brighter..I embrace you in love...Take care of you....
It is the truth in man that sets him free..

Ari_fairy
20975 posts 

12/27/2011 11:38 pm
    Quoting explourer:
    It's the time of year...it does that to a lot of peoples...dry your eyes and take comfort that you are surrounded yet still with family members...Tomorrow is another day and things will do seems brighter..I embrace you in love...Take care of you....
I needed that, Jen. I'm actually quite happy most of the time, just seemed to melt down that night...and perhaps as much from memories as from experience. It is what it is and I'm better now.

Big hugs and lots of love.

Arre
Feel the passion, walk in peace, live in love....Ari

explourer
7614 posts 

1/3/2012 9:17 am
    Quoting Ari_fairy:
    I needed that, Jen. I'm actually quite happy most of the time, just seemed to melt down that night...and perhaps as much from memories as from experience. It is what it is and I'm better now.

    Big hugs and lots of love.

    Arre
Arre,sometimes we do..Just like a river when it over flooded..it runs over...We need to release some of those pressures harboring on our soul...Glad to reads you are better...I knew it would...Take one day at a time...
It is the truth in man that sets him free..

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